There is a notion in life that you have to spend every second in a relationship or that the most important thing in life is finding a partner. The focus of many conversations with friends or family tends to be if you have found a boyfriend or girlfriend yet. But it is OK not to be in a relationship, especially in college, and here are some reasons why.
1. The Work Load
Being in a relationship means spending a lot of your time focused on the other person and what is going on in their life, and this can add to the stress of the already stressful life of a college student. The work load that college presents is enough to keep everyone completely occupied, and at the end of the day, academics are the most important part of your college life.
One of the greatest things about college is the amount of freedom you get. No parents, no principals or controlling teachers are there to tell you what you can and cannot do. So it just makes sense to take full advantage of this freedom, and that means doing what you want and not being influenced by what your significant other would or would not want you to do. You can go out and experiment and experience things for you.
3. We’re Still Teens
At the end of the day, we are only 18 or 19 years old. We have our whole lives ahead of us, and right now the most important thing is focusing on being young, having fun and taking full advantage of the best four years of our lives. Opportunities are endless right now, and that should be the focus of these next four years.
4. Focus on You
Similar to that, the most important thing in life is you. It is OK to take the time in college to figure out who you are and who you want to be and that can be hard to do in a relationship. The transition into college is an extremely confusing time, and some of the time you may not feel like yourself. Wanting to spend time focusing on you is completely fine — you don’t always need someone else. In fact, without someone else, you will find a stronger sense of self.
5. Better Friendships
If you are single in college you can spend more time building friendships and unbreakable bonds with your future best friends. There is nothing like having a night just with your friends laughing and eating junk food in sweatpants. Friendships that you make in college are going to be some of the friendships you have for life, so focus on the friends and not necessarily the boyfriends or girlfriends.
6. No Regrets
There are so many opportunities that college presents and you don’t want to be in a position where you don’t do something because of a relationship. Being single allows you to try these new things no matter how crazy they are, that way one day you won’t regret not doing something that could have been amazing for your college experience and your development as a person. If you’re single in college, you won’t regret not doing something because you were worried about someone else.
7. No Pressure
There is less pressure to constantly be tending to someone else. College is crazy as it is with classes, friends, internships, clubs and a social life, so not having to constantly be checking in with someone may alleviate some of the pressure that comes with college in general. Not feeling pressure to live up to someone’s expectations, abide by someone else’s idea of good or bad and to just be able to live your life without feeling the pressure of someone else who you want to impress is a huge relief in college.
8. You Will Learn to Love Yourself
Yes it is cliché, but you truly cannot love someone else unless you love yourself. Learning how to be alone is a skill that comes with the whole college experience and it is a skill that is vital to have for the rest of your life. Once you learn how to feel good about yourself alone and how to love yourself, you will be able to love someone better in the future. Once again, you are the most important thing in college, so you must focus on loving yourself first.
It may not seem ideal, but being single in college IS OK. There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship, but there is also no rule that says you must always have some significant other at all times, so if you are single in college, whether newly single or not, just focus on YOU, because these next four years are for you, not for someone else.
Lead Image Credit: Alex Jones via Unsplash