Roomies are the people we've probably become closest with at this point in college. Now that we've hit midterms, they've definitely seen us in all our ways, shapes and forms. Whether it is crying intoxicated on the floor on a Thursday night, or chatting over the world cup and face masks, we've made tons of memories with our co-habitator. Some of those memories are conversations, some of which are a common thread for all of us. And don't worry, people with single rooms, you've probably had these conversations with yourself.
1. The "What Are We Even Doing Here" talk
This came in the first few weeks of college when we all still felt like we were at summer camp. It was the half serious half joking chat where you conclude that you actually have no clue how to function as a human being without your dog and hometown homies.
2. The "How Can We Steal Food From The Dining Hall" talk
Quickly into college, we all realized that food was expensive and our wallets weren't having it. But there's perfectly good food in the dining hall, right? And if we're paying so much for a meal plan, some to-go grabs at the end couldn't hurt anyone. Popular ways of stealing food in this conversation include buying milk jugs to fill with cranberry juice, filling coffee cups with salad, and taking so many cookies in napkins that it doesn't even look like you tried to be sneaky.
3. The "Should I Text Them" Talk
For many of us, our room mate has become a great friend and our first source of advice. When bae is acting a fool, or friends are being impossible, roomies are there to help. We've all had the dramatic readings of the passive aggressive friend's texts or an in depth analysis of snapchats from our crush. Our roommates are there to knock some sense into us, cheer us up, or tell us "oh my god, just text them!"
4. The "Would You Talk to Me if I Wear This" Talk
This goes for class, parties and dining halls. (Although, lets be honest, nobody cares what they look like at dinner at this point). We all catch ourselves running our outfits by our room mates, whether it's getting practically naked for a party on the weekend, or trying to look like we still have it together while wearing bunny slippers to grab our mail. If our roomie would still like us, other people would as well, right?
5. The "Uh, Can I Maybe, Uh, Have the Room Tonight?" Talk
Ah, the beginning of sexiling. Whether you're the sexiler or the sexilee, this talk is pretty interesting and can really vary by pair of roomies. Some roomies set up the policy at the beginning, and have a pretty clear understanding of boundaries. Others are figure the situation out on the fly, and end up hanging out at their friends dorms till 1:36 AM because their roomie didn't give them a lot of head notice. If you're lucky, you've avoided this conversation altogether by using your roommates scheduled out of the room time to your advantage.
6. The Early Morning "Ugh, I can't, I Actually Can Not Get Out of Bed" Talk
This one might not even qualify as a conversation, because rather than talking it's a lot of moaning, groaning, and light screaming. Usually it involves a low-level discussion of how comfortable bed is, how it's too early, how you should've gone to bed earlier, or how maybe you can get away with skipping your 8 AM. It usually ends with one forcing the other to get up, via aggressive yelling or physically dragging out of bed.
7. The "Wow, My Day Sucked" Talk
Scene: One room mate is in the room, maybe with headphones on, sitting in bed. Room mate number two bursts through the door, drops their backpack to the floor, and literally falls face first into their bed. Screaming into pillow and kicking mattress is optional, but sometimes included. This is usually followed by first roommate removing one or both of their headphones, and then listening to the very long and exasperated rant of roomie number two. This conversation is often very therapeutic.
8. The "Holy Crap, The Future" Talk
This usually occurs late at night, during times of procrastination, or during times of possible intoxication. One roomie begins with, "Wow, you know what?" and then the conversation spirals into a minimum one hour discussion of both roommates hopes, dreams, ambitions and fears. This ends with a sense of bonding and closeness, or with a sense of bonding and closeness covered in tears of pure terror thinking about what lies ahead. Usually, this one forces both to stay up at least a couple hours passed when they planned.
9. The "Everything About Home" Talk
There comes a day where one or both roomies start to miss their hometown. One sighs, saying they miss their mom's banana bread, and the other responds, "omg, I know, I can't live without my mom's sweet potato pie." It continues from there into a nostalgia spiral. Laughing memories are shared along with stories of childhood trauma and middle school embarrassment. Even though this usually starts with missing a food or spot at home, it can evolve into a really deep conversation about where both roomies came from. This is usually a bonding experience.
10. The "Should We Clean" Talk
Sometimes, we roomies look around and realize, well, crap, it's a mess. Maybe for some roommates this never really happens, but for us normal, average college students, keeping the room 100% tidy can be extremely difficult. Sometimes we have those weeks where throwing our shirt on the floor and leaving the bed unmade is the right thing for us. Answer to the question: usually, sort of, we should clean. But will we? Probably not. This usually ends with one room mate finding something cool hidden under a pile of mildly worn flannels. Or one sits down on their phone and all movement ceases.
Lead Image Credit: hercampus.com