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May 15 2017
by Kylie O'Neill

Why I’m Glad My Best Friend Stopped Talking To Me in High School

By Kylie O'Neill - May 15 2017

Your best friend. You know, the one you text constantly? Your highest Snapchat streak. The one who comes over for family dinner, movie night and game night. The one you found your prom dress with. The one who brings you ice cream when you’re sad. Your best friend. I had one of those, a really good one. We texted all the time, found ourselves together every weekend and even had boyfriends who were best friends. Until the summer before our junior year of high school.

It was about to be a new school year and my best friend and I were dreading it. I never ran out of things to complain about when I was with her. As the summer passed I noticed that my best friend and I were not as close as we used to be. It went from texting all day, to twice a day. It went from hanging out all the time, to never. A few months before, my best friend got a new boyfriend. Long story short, he was way older than us and clingy. He became me, as if he was my replacement. My best friend started to become too busy to hang out with me or answer my texts. An entire summer went by and we hung out once. The girl who I shared my life with. I called her out telling her I, her best friend for years, felt like I came second to the boy she had known for 2 months. She admitted to being distant and agreed to hang out and hopefully fix things. I was optimistic.

We met at our common ground of Chipotle and I told her everything that had been going on in my life, and might I say it was an abundance of information since she had been distant for so long. What she told me in return was brief, like she didn't have the energy to update her best friend on her life. Afterward, we left and I felt worse than before. I realized in that moment that my best friend didn't really want to be my best friend anymore.

Weeks later, she ended our Snap streak and stopped texting me. I was lonely, scared and hurt. Months later she was best friends with the girl who bullied me the year before. We used to be a dynamic trio until the comments from my so-called friend became hurtful. My best friend and I cut the girl out of our lives and both agreed it was for the best. We felt free! Now here I was in the beginning of junior year and my best friend was back with the girl who tore me down. It felt like things couldn’t get any worse. 

Fast forward eight months. I am about to graduate high school with the most amazing group of friends and the most optimistic and positive outlook on this wonderful thing called life. The months after my best friend stopped talking to me turned out to be the best months of my life. How? How did I turn something so awful into something so good? I created memories with friends I had grown distant from that I will hold onto forever. I realized that my best friend and I were so caught up in our want to leave high school that we forgot to enjoy it while it lasted. I am so regretful that I did not see it sooner.

I wasted some prime years with her negativity invading my mind. I am so grateful she left me so I can go forward in life and not make the mistakes I made in the past. I am so grateful my mind is full of happiness and optimism instead of complaints and attitude. As I stepped away from the friendship that crumbled before me, I realized that being friends with my old best friend was the worst thing for me. She made me think that life was worthless, that high school is not the place to do anything but complain and that dreams could never be fulfilled. Sure there were exceptions to these thoughts, but for the most part, she made me rush everything.

I didn't get a chance to explore myself and the roles I could take on in high school. I didn’t get involved as much as I should have. Senior year has been the best year yet and makes me wish I could go back in time and make the changes I should have made to each year before. So the toxic energy is gone, the trash took itself out and I have nothing but brightness ahead.

If you take anything away from my tale, take away positivity. Don’t waste any moment, don't take any time for granted and live life surrounded by people who care. And to my old best friend, I am nothing but sorry for you. I hope you realize how much better life is when you open your eyes to the sunshine. 

Lead Image Credit: Pexels 

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Kylie O'Neill - Endicott College

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