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Sep 06 2016
by Katie Weaver

6 Different People You'll Meet On Your Floor

By Katie Weaver - Sep 06 2016

East Coast, West Coast; Ivy League, Big 10; city streets, middle of nowhere; no matter what college you attend, some aspects don't change. If you're living at your college, chances are one of those things are the many, colorful types of people you meet on your floor. Here's a sampling of six of them; who knows, maybe one is you.

1. The Claw Machine of Friends

Picture a skill crane in one of those cheap kid-centric restaurants. Using a joystick, you end up blindly moving the claw in search of a toy, not even sure which one you want or if you even want it. Such is the way of the Claw Machine of Friends; they will do just about anything to make an acquaintance, no matter who that acquaintance is. You'll likely see them going from door to door on any given night, but they probably won't stay longer than a few minutes. How, you ask, is this a good way to make friends? It's really not; ironically, the Claw Machine of Friends usually won't end up with more than two lasting friends by year's end. Just wait for it.


2. The Pseudo-Parental Unit

On Thursday/Friday/Saturday nights, there's always that steady stream of people heading to the frats or the parties. At either the front or the back of that line (depending on the type) is the Pseudo-Parental Unit. They're the ones making sure nobody's forgotten any essentials, checking for wardrobe malfunctions and just making sure the group is held together. Note: the Pseudo-Parental Unit is not necessarily the designated sober friend - they might be, but it isn't a given.

3. The Shut-In

You might never get a chance meet this person because they quite literally never leave their room. Where do they come from? How do they get food? Do they spend their alone time studying or partaking in some other activity? Much of what is known about the Shut-In comes from details gleaned from his or her roommate, who is likely extremely outgoing by default.

4. The Athlete Without a Sport

This guy or girl has all the characteristics of a D1 athlete (whether you're at a D1 institution or not): always working out, obsessed with school sports, doesn't wear many outfits that don't include Nike shorts and sneakers and goes die-hard for any athletics whatsoever. And yet, they don't have a spot on one of the school teams. Is their excessive athleticism out of spite for the fact that they don't have a spot in the real hierarchy? Yet another mystery of college.

5. The Open Book

Essentially the polar opposite of the Shut In, the Open Book will always keep his or her door open in an effort to attract friends. They'll take full advantage of the whiteboard posted on their door, almost always decorating it with an interactive poll or message board. This person will almost certainly be in the running for an RA position in the coming years, so try not to get on their bad side.

6. The High School Romantic

You know those people that never seem to escape the high school mentality? They just don't match up in terms of their relationship-forming abilities, they still stash their high school t-shirts and pennants, and they want to go home as many times as they can. Depending on your proximity to their high school, they probably do.

They're colorful characters, and chances are there's more than one of each on your floor. Each one has their quirks and charms, so why not make an effort to get to know them?

Lead Image Credit: Eric Bailey via

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Katie Weaver - Temple University

Katie is a freshman majoring in journalism at Temple University. She started out writing cheesy short stories and wax-inspirational poems, but she has since discovered the joys of nonfiction. Her dream job is to be a writer for The New Yorker or a reporter for CNN. When she's not writing, she enjoys playing the violin, listening to many different types of music, and dreaming about traveling the world.

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