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Feb 09 2016
by Kailyn Slater

Why I'm Still Glad I Didn't Follow my (Now Ex) Boyfriend to College

By Kailyn Slater - Feb 09 2016

In October of 2015, I wrote a personal essay titled, "Why I Chose Not to Follow My Boyfriend to College, and Why You Shouldn't Either." If you had not already guessed by the title of this particular essay, it's essentially a sequel to that previous piece about my previous long-term relationship and how I truly believed that "love conquers all." Unfortunately, we had become disillusioned with our potential future as a couple, and decided to end our relationship a few weeks ago. 

If you are currently in a long-term (and especially long-distance) relationship, think about this: what if you and your significant other break up, and you're stuck at the same school as them? Is the school that you chose actually good for your major? Is it financially worth it to stay at that school? Did you compromise or sacrifice a part of yourself and of your future to go to the same school as them? Of course, there are couples who actually make it. There are always exceptions to the rule. However, when deciding whether or not to attend their school, remember that there is a large chance you'll be seeing that person around. 

Personally, for me, I've had an alright time coming out of the break-up--I got a Tinder, for one--, but I have realized that I am so glad I decided against applying or transferring to his school. Being single is important in college: it's where you're able to find yourself and who you are. And, on another note: do not sacrifice yourself or lower your expectations for a match on Tinder because you're feeling lonely or unwanted. Be careful. 

Break-ups are terrible. Especially so for those of us who had been in committed, long-term relationships. There was so much time spent and invested in that person, and it feels like it was all worthless, a waste of time, et cetera. I'll be honest: I thought I was over it, I got a Tinder, and after a few (eventually unpleasant) situations, I realized that this isn't where I'm meant to be. I realized that I need time to rediscover myself, and to decide whether or not a fresh start for both him and the relationship is a good course of action. Looking back on the other piece from a few months ago, I realized that I actually didn't really know as much as I thought I did about love or about boys. 

Take the days, weeks, months, even years to feel yo'self and live your truth. Yes, I love affection, and I will miss him more than anything, but logistically, it had to end. Logistically, I am so incredibly thankful I didn't move to his school. You never know what's going to happen. 

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Kailyn Slater - School of the Art Institute of Chicago

Kailyn Slater is a first year student at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago studying Art & Technology Studies, Sculpture, Writing, Video, and Sound. She does everything and anything with a computer, while concurrently eating waffles and being sarcastic.

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