For Freshmen. By Freshmen.
Display coffee cynicism 1444003934
Dec 01 2015
by Kailyn Slater

What Your Caffeine Choice Says About You

By Kailyn Slater - Dec 01 2015

1. Starbucks’ Caramel Macchiato.

“I’m feelin’ myself, because I have $6 to spend on one cup of coffee.” 

2. Five Hour Energy.

 “I’ve already been procrastinating since 8PM on this English essay, and it’s midnight now. Class starts at 8AM, so if I drink this now and write the essay while I’m running the caffeine, I’ll get three hours of sleep. *high-fives self* GO TEAM.”

3.Anything relating to Monster (especially before 9AM).

 “I got three hours of sleep last night, and I need to get through two lectures and a lab without falling asleep standing up. Help.”

4. Dunkin’ Donuts Iced Coffee.

 “This tastes like liquid heaven. Cheap, cheap liquid heaven.”

5. Black Coffee.

 “I’m trying to adult. I really am. But this tastes like sadness and I need something to get me through my 9AM.”

6. Diet Soda.

"This has just enough caffeine to wake me up, and I need to drink it before it gets warm and tastes like off-brand cough syrup."

7. Tea (to Coffee Drinkers).

"My body has gotten too used to coffee, so that caffeine doesn't affect me anymore, but tea tastes like I'm drinking liquid Earth--which isn't an entirely bad thing. Honestly, I just need the warm caffeine."

8. Tea (to Tea Drinkers).

"Tea makes everything feel good. I feel so refreshed and at least somewhat capable of starting my day."

All GIF credit: Tumblr, Lead Image: Pinterest

Want to write for Fresh U? Join now
Want more Fresh U? Like us on Facebook!
Kailyn Slater - School of the Art Institute of Chicago

Kailyn Slater is a first year student at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago studying Art & Technology Studies, Sculpture, Writing, Video, and Sound. She does everything and anything with a computer, while concurrently eating waffles and being sarcastic.

Most Popular