For Freshmen. By Freshmen.
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Dec 06 2015
by Justine Kim

If World Leaders were in College

By Justine Kim - Dec 06 2015

All universities have the typical stereotypes: the athletes, the aca-community, hipsters, and everything in between. But what would world leaders (living or dead) be like if they were in college today?

1. President Obama.

It is known to the United States that President Obama smoked some grass in his younger days. If Obama was at his alma mater, Columbia University today, he would be that stoner who is also annoyingly smart. You know those people who are able to get as high as a kite, yet ace every exam: that would be the leader of the free world.


2. Angela Merkel.

The Chancellor of Germany grew up in East Germany and became involved in the Free German Youth and received a doctorate in quantum chemistry. “Mutti” (Merkel’s German nickname) would be the perfect student: involved in every possible activity, a staunch feminist, down to earth, and extremely intelligent. Everyone can’t help but love her and hate her at the same time.

The New Yorker

3. Alexander the Great.

Alexander Macedon would be the frat star of all frat stars. Not only can he complete a one minute keg stand and can wreck everyone in pong, but he has future dreams of conquering Wall Street and the entire international economy. This hot commodity even has the nickname of, “Alexander the Great”.

A History of Greece

4. Kim Jong Un

"Kimmy" as he would be called is just a big bully. His daddy is paying his way through college and as the youngest of his brothers, he's used to being babied. Little do his frat brothers know, but he cries in his sleep because he misses his daddy.

Chicago Now

5. Pope Francis.

The OG of OGs, Pope Francis would have been an activist on campus as both a representative of the Lord and of a progressive generation. As a church leader, he is able to represent the more liberal social views while walking the walk of the Church.


6. Nicolas Maduro.

A man who is everywhere and nowhere at the same time. He was the president of a mid-tier fraternity who hazed the s**t out of each pledge class. The frat didn't reach top-tier status until he graduated abnormally late. 


7. Princess Diana.

Princess Di is every guys dream girl. Royal or common, everyone wants to wife her. She's the head of huge campus community service activities like Dance Marathon and the annual canned food drive your university hosts. 


8. Dalai Lama.

The chillest guy you know, the Dalai Lama is a part of the peaceful acts of activism on campus. He hangs out with the campus hippies and is one of the most knowledgeable on about the conflicts in Tibet. 


9. Joseph Stalin.

This mofo is one of ten guys on campus that can grow a legit 'stache. Stalin is a textbook alpha male archetype and is involved in student government. He plans on forcefully taking over school Senate as the next President.


10. Sepp Blatter.

A NARP in a sea of athletes, Blatter is in with the athletes. His university hosts a intercollegiate World Cup every year, however, Blatter is no longer allowed to participate in the planning of the event after the university caught him laundering sponsorship funds. 


Lead Image Credit: China Daily

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Justine Kim - Northwestern University

Justine Kim is a freshman at Northwestern University. She is currently Undecided and spends her free time reading self help books, eating dairy free froyo, and listening to jazz EDM. She also has a passion for social justice and politics, however, can't make up her mind about the 2016 presidential candidates. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @jkimmy7.

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