For Freshmen. By Freshmen.
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Feb 20 2016
by Jaclyn Imai

If the Greek Gods Were College Students

By Jaclyn Imai - Feb 20 2016

1. Zeus (The God of Lightning, King of the Gods)

Not only is he the president of his fraternity, and almost every other club there is in some way, if you could choose the face of the college, it would be him. He tends to overwork himself a lot, and his temper is on the shorter end of the lightning bolt, but he keeps things running and most people respect him. He's an international relations major because he feels obligated to make the world a little less crazy, and knows at least four languages. He's also in a relationship with Hera, and together they make everyone's #relationshipgoals.

2. Poseidon (The God of the Sea)

He's everyone's favorite Big in the fraternity. He's a legend. Fun-loving and loves water sports, which goes along well with his eventual marine biology degree. He was raised by the sea and wants to give back in a way to the setting he was raised near. He has his serious moments, but otherwise it's generally easy to see him as a goofball. He balances out Zeus's more Type-A style in the fraternity, and he's the brother that will hook you up with amazing weekend beach plans, and maybe teach you how to surf.

3. Hades (The God of Death/the Underworld)

He's the one you're surprised is in the fraternity at all. It seems more like his friends roped him into it, or he barely had enough interest to rush and then somehow got in. He's moody, and he can be very persistent when it comes to something he wants. But at the end of the day, he's resourceful and a good listener. If anything, he would be the secretary of the fraternity, albeit grudgingly. He's a forensic science major because he has a weird affinity for dead things, especially people. This is a fact that his fraternity brothers would prefer not to dwell on.

4. Artemis (The Goddess of the Hunt)

She's the most athletic sorority girl there is, and her specialty is archery and marksmanship. You never see her with any guys, mostly because she wards them off/scares them with how strong she is. She doesn't need a man, nor is she interested in finding one. She's independent, and she values her "sisters" more than anything. When she's not working on her aim, she's working on her physical therapy degree so that she can treat people injured in sports. She might minor in astronomy as well. Her favorite pastime is going on night-time hunting excursions by the moonlight. She's also related to Apollo.

5. Apollo (The God of the Arts and Prophecy)

He's working for his degree in performing arts, but might minor in climate science soon, because he's fascinated by the sun and how it works. Like his sister, he tends to scare people off, especially since he also does archery. He's not the most sociable, but he (secretly) keeps everything running, and at his heart he's very passionate and serious. He's that one guy in your group project that does most of the work but doesn't complain about it, at least openly. He'll go to every concert, play, and recital on campus. As a hobby, he does fortune-telling.

6. Dionysus (The God of Wine and Celebration)

He's the one you see consistently drunk on the street at 2 AM every weekend. He is the life of the party, more along the lines of a legend. He's the one that does insane crazy things, like lip-synching a Broadway song on a table, yelling that he should have played Juliet for the school's Shakespeare festival, and then subsequently jumping off a balcony. He is the epitome of the party scene, and the one you tell all of your friends of back home. Outside of the party life however, he's a bit of a loner. He's a theater major because he thinks that theater is the finest way to celebrate the human condition.

7. Hestia (The Goddess of the Hearth)

There's just a warm glow about her. There's one "Hestia" in every suite or friend group. You feel like, for some reason, you can trust her and that she will unconditionally listen to you. She's the shyest girl in class, but she's always listening and for that reason, is sometimes the smartest. She's an architecture major, mainly for the designing aspect. She preferably draws by the fire with some hot cocoa. She doesn't participate in any clubs, but when she has the chance, she loves going on camping trips with her close friends.

8. Aphrodite (The Goddess of Love and Beauty)

She's the cover sorority girl. She is the face of her sorority just as much as much as Zeus for his fraternity. She can be perceived as ditzy and overly outgoing, but she's just as observant as Hestia, and in ten years she'll be your best "wing-girl" at a bar. She started acting when she was in elementary school, and ever looked back. She hopes to minor in psychology as well, because she loves all people and would love to see the science behind what makes people tick.

9. Ares (The God of War)

He's not necessarily looking for a fight, but he has a really short fuse. He controls his temper by playing any sport that will take him (the boxing team likes him a lot) or lifting weights at the gym consistently. He's a good guy, but has a lot more pet peeves than everyone else. He's easy to be afraid of, but if you make friends with him, he'll be behind you 100%. Surprisingly, he's a history major, because he loves reading about the effects of war on civilizations. Writing however, is not his strong suit and for that reason, he might switch majors soon.

10. Hephaestus (The God of Fire and Metalwork)

He's a construction engineer, so metal work is kind of his thing. A lot of times it seems like he cares more about what steel to use than his friends, and he's definitely not a party person. It's not that he doesn't care about his social life, but he feels passionately about his work. For his work study, he builds sets for the theatre department, as they always need some welding done, and he's happy that way.

11. Demeter (The Goddess of the Harvest)

An agricultural science major, she is the hipster environmentalist at the coffee shop. She would like to minor in meteorology, but that's only to learn about the effect weather has on plants. She is part of every gardening club on campus, and probably has ten different kinds of succulents in her room. She is a simple person, proud to live a simple life of simple pleasures. Once you get to know her, she opens up and will get fair trade coffee with you any day.'s_Hercules_-_Demeter.png

12. Hera (The Goddess of Family, Queen of the Gods)

Hera is an interdisciplinary studies major, because she believes that balance is the key to a healthy and successful life. She's also the leader of her sorority, and is in a relationship with Zeus. She's takes care of everyone, and as such she is the one that will go out at 3:00 AM after hearing that one of her friends is wandering around drunk. She'll scold them for it, but she can be relied on for that every time. Like Zeus, she can be a little more uptight, but someone has to be responsible.

13. Hermes (The God of Travel, Messenger of the Gods)

Hermes doesn't quite know what he wants to do, so he's undecided for now. However, he likes to talk, so he's leaning towards communications. He's in track or cross country to work off his excess energy. As with his nature he's a bit flighty. He doesn't really belong to any particular group of friends, but for that reason he tends to know everyone on campus. And everything about them.

14. Athena  (The Goddess of Wisdom and War)

As a pre-law major, she's the one smart girl you have in every class. She may not be as outspoken, but knows when she has valid input and isn't afraid to say it. She always does her homework and excels in tests. She may not have a lot of friends, but people always respect her. When she's not working at her internship at the local courtroom, she takes an active part in her campus's political clubs. Oh, and don't go against her in any video game...

Lead Image Credit: Buena Vista Pictures

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Jaclyn Imai - University of Southern California

Jaclyn Imai is a freshman Theatre Acting major from the University of Southern California with intended minors in communication and cinematic arts. She has has written comedic and dramatic pieces for theater in high school. She loves food, trying new things and traveling anywhere, even if that "anywhere" is just walking ten minutes to get more food. She hopes people enjoy her sassy writing, and that her serious writing makes people think.

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