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Mar 01 2016
by Jaclyn Imai

10 Things College Students Who Don't Drink Are Tired of Hearing

By Jaclyn Imai - Mar 01 2016

Really guys? As someone that isn't fond of drinking for the sake of getting drunk, I'm sick of hearing these comments from people who go out every weekend/the people we have take care of when they're hungover. And I've bet you've heard some, too, regardless of how you feel about drinking. Give us a break, please.

1. "I would ask if you if you want to go out, but you don't drink..."

Yeah, but I still like to spend time with my friends. Just because I don't like to drink doesn't mean I hate dancing, or talking to people, or you know, LEAVING MY ROOM.

2. "OMG!!!!! Have you ever had a drink before?!"

Chances are I have, or haven't. Anyway, how does it matter to you? I get that my secret double life at home or my high school life where I regret almost everything is totally interesting to you, but I'm not a baby you need to coddle. If you're going to ask, please don't use the, "Aww; you're so innocent and cute," tone.

3. "Oh, you don't drink? Want me to get you one?"

Let me put this as plainly as possible; THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE!!!!!!!! Think about it. If you're offering to get me a drink in the first place, then can't I get one myself? I mean, I appreciate the offer and all, but no thank you.

4. "I want to see you drunk."

Yes, I've gotten this one before. And I find it creepy. Please don't. Enough said.

5. "How do you have fun?!"

I have fun by not throwing up, and actually remembering the things that happened the night before. Or I unwind/have fun by playing Tetris, or eating dinner with my friends, or watching too much Youtube, or Netflix. I'm just like you. Please don't regard me as some new species of animal.

6. "C'mon. It's just one drink."

And one might lead to one more, or two, or ten. Alcohol can be like a piece of chocolate. You know you shouldn't have a piece, because of college life chances are you're eating it at 3:00 A.M., but then you eat one piece. And then one more. And before you know it the bag is gone and you can't remember why it's all gone.

7. "Can you be our designated driver/call us an Uber?"

I'm glad that you can rely on me to stay safe, and I would much rather call an Uber or drive you home than find you stumbling around in the morning hours. But isn't three times a week a little bit much? Like can I be put on a rotation system of some kind where I'm only called on Saturdays?

8. "Wow, you're trying to not drink at college?! You're so strong for staying sober."

While I appreciate that you admire my ability to resist peer pressure, the fact that you think "strength" can be exhibited by not picking up a Red Solo Cup, I'm concerned for the future of this country.

9. "So...what are you going to drink at the party?" least you invited me in the first place. There's this great thing I'll be drinking, you know to splurge. Yeah, this drink is super rare these days, especially in California. Yeah, I thought I would treat myself you know. It's called water.

10. "Wow, that must suck."

Yeah, maybe it does sometimes. But you're not helping. Please go grind on someone else now. Thank you.

Lead Image Credit: Oh My Disney

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Jaclyn Imai - University of Southern California

Jaclyn Imai is a freshman Theatre Acting major from the University of Southern California with intended minors in communication and cinematic arts. She has has written comedic and dramatic pieces for theater in high school. She loves food, trying new things and traveling anywhere, even if that "anywhere" is just walking ten minutes to get more food. She hopes people enjoy her sassy writing, and that her serious writing makes people think.

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