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Oct 14 2018
by Heaven Mamou

7 Perks and Downfalls of Being a Wallflower

By Heaven Mamou - Oct 14 2018
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Wallflower (n.):  a word I never knew the meaning of until last week; a word I, as an introvert, identify with (somewhat). 

I've always heard the word, wallflower, being thrown around and used, but I never really knew what it meant until last week. I was shadowing the head of our school's radio station so I could learn how to work the behind the scenes equipment (because I'd rather work magic behind the scenes). After learning everything, the head asked if I had any questions and as usual, I shook my head no and smiled. After that, he said, "I can tell you're a wallflower, and that's perfectly okay." I smiled and agreed, not really knowing what I just labeled myself as to him. So, I took it upon myself to look it up. Upon looking it up, I felt like my whole existence was perfectly described in this single, simple word: wallflower. 

If you are introverted or consider yourself a wallflower, like me, then you probably have had to explain yourself for wanting to stay in or read (or whatever you like to do). If you do go out, you aren't at the center of attention. I feel your pain, which is why I am here to give five reasons why wallflowers are, to put it lightly, dope. 

1. We allow our experiences to resonate with us. 

Find me at the back of the party, soaking in the music and the vibes. Find me at a museum actually reading the background info, soaking in the art, history, etc. Find me anywhere, away from the attention (not because I don't want to be bothered, but because I want to relish the experience). Find me closing my eyes and eating because I like to soak in the experience of eating. 

2. We are observant.

We catch on to the little things that people may not normally catch on to. Personally, my observant nature allows me to learn more about people than what meets the eye or what they say. 

3. We don't like attention, which is a great thing for some.

I often find myself directing unwanted attention to someone else through service. Service is a great thing for everyone to do. My introverted nature causes me to want to serve others and lend a helping hand.

 

4. We are deep thinkers.

When making decisions, I like to think beyond the now and more about the future. I ask myself, how can this help (or hurt) me later on? The time I spend in solitude allows me to actually think and to think deeply.

5. We empathize.

Most wallflowers are very sincere and caring. Because we sit on the sidelines and observe, we are able to understand people and empathize with others more. 

Still, let's face it. Although being a wallflower comes with many many perks, there are two major downfalls.

1. We are misinterpreted or misunderstood.

We don't hate people and we don't hate having fun. Often times, people think that I am too conceited or stuck up because I may not want to go out one night. We are not conceited or boring (at least most of us aren't). Sometimes my social battery is just dead and I want to just stay in. Personally, I love people and doing new things, but some nights I just really love a book, movie or my bed more! Introverts love having fun just as much as extroverts. Personally, I love meeting new people, but I'm just not good at initiating conversations. Also, I think I speak for us all when I say: "Our kindness is not our weakness." 

2. We are misrepresented.

Just like everyone else, there is not one type of introvert or wallflower. Although we share common interests (sometimes), we don't always have those common interests. Not all introverts like video games, reading or art. Some of us actually love partying (I wish I could say this about myself) but don't like the attention. 

Simply, we all are different. We have our own styles and interests, and that makes us dope. So, whether you consider yourself a wallflower, an extrovert or in between, just be you and love yourself. Don't try to fit in a box, create your own.

Lead Image Credit: Unsplash




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Heaven Mamou - Xavier University of Louisiana

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