I’ve noticed you’ve been around a lot more lately, so I have decided to confront you head on. I am becoming very exhausted and sick of your behavior and I, for one, would like you to stop.
At times, I feel like I can’t breathe when you’re around. I even start to feel sick. You always want my attention and I do not have the time or the desire to give it to you. Can you just leave me alone?
There are times when I am so happy and moments where I feel at peace. These feelings can last for months, but then you find your way in and ruin everything. I could be feeling just fine, but then suddenly become paranoid that there is something I need to be worried about. You never let me catch a break and you make me question my decisions.
Am I at the right school? Am I friends with the right people? Is this person angry with me? Did I do something wrong? Am I working hard enough? Do I even have what it takes to be successful?
Somehow you even make me question the relationships I have with the people I love. You feed me poisonous ideas about them, making me wonder who I can and cannot trust. I hate when you do that. I just want to be happy.
You make me hurt the people I love when you take over. You make them feel like I am angry with them, or like they are not trustworthy. You stress them out by making me act insane, leaving me to feel guilty and upset that my mental issues are affecting them, too.
You are not in control of me. You do not decide how I live my life. There are times where you choke me and squeeze all of the life out of me, leaving me shaking, but I do not and will not give up. I love my life and the people in it and I will not let you cheat me out of happiness.
I am a strong person, much stronger than you. I will live a happy life. I do live a happy life. I will fight with every fiber of my being to keep you out of my mind and out of my body. I am more powerful than the storm that you are trying to create inside my brain and I will not be just another casualty. You have no use trying to hurt me, I am a warrior.
So, Anxiety, you can go screw yourself.
Someone Who Is Leaving You in the Past
Lead Image Credit: Med Badr Chemmaoui via Unsplash