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May 31 2016
by Gemma DiCarlo

6 Not-So-Fond Farewells

By Gemma DiCarlo - May 31 2016
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We all met some great people in high school. The greatest, in fact. And as much as we acknowledge our imminent separation and our need to branch out, a little part of us hopes that those bonds will be lifelong. But before we get too nostalgic, let's be honest – some people were not worth the lifelong friendship, or even a semester-long friendship. A little part of you actually hopes that you never see them again. You know who I'm talking about. So let us bid one final (not so) fond farewell to these antagonists of our high school halls and wish them as well as we can on their respective ways:

Goodbye to that girl who always screeched. 

Screeched what? HEEEEY YOU; I haven't seen you in SO LONG; no WAY;  ohmyGAWD; shut UP; EEEEE. May they always screech back with equal enthusiasm honey.

Goodbye to all the slow walkers and hall minglers, always in the way. 

They never once failed in what was obviously their mission to make you late. May they get to where they're going...eventually.

Goodbye to that girl you just *knew* was judging your every move. 

She did the whisper-and-laugh-with-friends move while keeping steady eye contact with you. What else could that mean?! What had you done to deserve this obvious disdain? May you make your future classmates as confused and self-conscious as you made the rest of us.

Goodbye to that couple who always blocked your locker with their makeout session.

 May you have a prosperous marriage and many children.

Goodbye to the know-it-all that you liked to think you knew more than. 

You just didn't raise your hand as much, you were trying to be cool, that's all! May you enjoy your lucrative scholarship to an esteemed institution. You earned it. 

And finally, goodbye to that boy who felt the need to argue the teacher on quite literally everything. 

You never failed to raise a collective cringe when you uttered that fatal phrase, "I disagree." We knew what was coming. May your college professors encourage debate and your future classmates be willing to engage you. (Final tally: teacher-27, you-1.)

Unfortunately, we may never bid a truly final farewell to these characters, much as we would like to leave them behind. They seem to materialize in just about every theater of life. So let us hope that between now and our next unfortunate encounters, we may develop the saintly patience and elevated maturity to deal with their antics. What else is life about, anyways?

Lead Image Credit: GIPHY

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Gemma DiCarlo - University of Georgia

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