Whenever I check social media, I find that it's filled with pictures of my friends enjoying college. It's not that I'm not happy for them, but I wish I could have that kind of happiness at my college too. I know that some people don't like their first semester but grow to like it afterwards, but I also know I need to have a backup plan just in case. So I applied to two universities, both within an hour of my home.
This was a very big change since when I first moved out I decided to go thirteen hours away, but after my first semester, I realized distance isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Sure, I got to experience new things, but it meant I could never come home except for breaks, even if I really needed to.
I also realized my campus was a commuter campus after I got there. This meant pretty much everybody was from less than 30 minutes away and even the ones who did live on campus went home every weekend. This made it so hard to make friends and it made me miss my friends back home even more.
The college application process sent me into a déjà vu of my senior year. Suddenly I had to write essays, personal statements and resumes. I had to contact old high school teachers to see if they would write recommendation letters for me.
Then there was the waiting period. I knew I would get in, but it was still a matter of making it official. Plus, I'm still awaiting on scholarship information. (Which I will be lucky to get since transfer student scholarships are few and far between).
My heart felt heavy after I sent in my applications. I felt guilty for wanting to leave. I felt like I was betraying my school. I was afraid to tell anyone of my intentions and I haven't even made a decision yet.
If you feel like you even might have made the wrong decision for college, I urge you to apply to other schools. You don't have to commit, but it will give you options. Sure, the application process is no fun and it makes you feel like you're back in high school, but it will be worth it in the long run if you do discover that your current campus is not for you.
I haven't decided whether I should leave or stay next year, but I'm glad to have my options open. Even though the phrase may leave a bad taste in some people's mouths, I am coming to terms with the fact that I may need to be a transfer student.
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