Dear my fellow recently heartbroken freshmen,
The month of August and September inevitably comes with the endless conversations about distance and breakups, and if you are anything like me I am sure you went through the motions as well. Some of you may have had a serious significant other, or maybe just started something new this summer, but that doesn't mean it hurts any less. You may have found yourself saying, "Love sucks," or the more optimistic, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," and I am here to tell you that both are true in some respect. You gave your all to someone who didn't want you in the same way and wouldn't put in the effort to keep you even through long distance. Or maybe it was a mutual decision because you didn't want to fall apart during the semester. Both are totally valid and plausible.
Being in love is an amazing feeling; you get to hold someone else's heart and you both make each other feel loved and overall amazing. Unfortunately, leaving for college is like taking a ball and throwing it straight at the glass safe holding everything that is important to you until now. Everything changes. That being said, heartbreak feels more like someone is ripping your own heart out of your chest. It is okay to feel angry. It is okay to feel sad. It is okay to feel whatever it is you are feeling. Love is unpredictable and so is heartbreak. They both affect people in different ways. But you are lucky. You get to go off to college and start a new life, so take advantage of that. Find some new friends and surround yourself with new happy memories to take place of the old ones.
Remember the good times you had in your past relationship, don't hide those from yourself in an attempt to make it seem like the last year or so never happened. Life keeps moving forward and so should you, but that doesn't mean you need to burn all your memories too. Take this semester to focus on yourself and find out what it means to be you and what it is you want. FaceTime your friends and family and use them as rocks to get you through. I know everyone says this, but time heals everything. Eventually that ball in your throat will slowly become a pebble, and those tears in your eyes will become a single tear.
For me, I jetted off to London with the knowledge that, for the first time in a while, I am the only person I need to worry about. Although at first that was a painful realization, I began to figure out that, as a college freshman, it was a really liberating feeling. This semester is all about me and I can finally focus fully on my health and well-being. So, even though leaving home and heartbreak are two very difficult things, I learned that you just need to look forward, not back, and everything will work out in the end.
Life has a funny way of showing us where it is we need to be and who we need to be with, so think of this breakup as life's way of saying that it's time to focus on you. Who knows, by the end of the semester maybe your ex will come back into your life (friendly or romantically). None of us can predict the future and it is too painful to try and imagine it or to dwell on the past so much. Don't forget all the good memories, but don't hold on to what is no more either. You are a fantastic, strong, beautiful person inside and out and no heartbreak or ex will ever take that away from you.
A fellow newly single college freshman
Lead Image Credit: Ellie Tallarida