As I write this, I’m sitting in a courtyard alone, being kissed by the sun and caressed by the wind.
In an attempt to be poetic, I have compiled a series of songs that represent what I’ve learned about relationships in my experience of going away to college.
1. "Life's What You Make It" by Hannah Montana
College is a choice. From the very moment I began my application, I was making choices. I chose where to apply and where to go based on my own criteria. I asked myself what I wanted from my college experience and chose accordingly. The same goes for relationships. You can choose your friends based on what you want out of that relationship. You are no longer chained to a desk with your cellmates eight hours a day. You find your niche. You choose who you want to see and when you want to see them. The way you mold your college experience reflects the way you mold relationships.
2. "Know Yourself" by Drake
My most important relationship has been and will always be one with myself. For me, college has been a place of self-discovery. By exposing myself to new things and new people all the time, I’m always learning something new about myself. It is important to have a general concept of who I am before I go running into relationships, which require constant compromise. It’s important to know which things I am not willing to compromise on in order to find someone that suits my needs. People love genuine people. Not only is it important to know who I am for developing outside relationships, but it is definitely vital in order to fully take in the college experience and live a happy and fulfilling life.
3. "Situationships" by Fabolous
Ah, college. Sometimes the tension from all the raging hormones is almost too thick to walk through. Not to mention at Howard, (and I’m sure it's this way at many other schools) where the male to female ratio is undeniably imbalanced. College is the time to have fun and explore your horizons, but that also makes it way easier to get caught up in a situationship. The possibilities are endless.
4. "Homecoming" by Kanye West
Do you think about me now and then? A much younger and more relatable Kanye era song resonates with me for sure. He makes it known that he’s coming home and all is not lost for those relationships he may have back home. Going away for college does not mean the end of relationships. Going away for college has ironically strengthened my bonds with some of my friends back home. The people who really belonged in my life have made that known by putting out the effort to keep in touch with me. But of course, for every friend who has kept in touch, there’s been a “friend” who hasn’t. In a way, college is weeding out those who don’t belong in my life. Situationships formed back home seem to dissolve when there is a 1000 mile distance barrier and fake friends expose their lack of effort.
5. "Burn" by Usher
When you lose friends, it won't always be amicable. The people you least expect to stop talking to you may do just that. Sometimes you'll realize that you weren't as close to them or your friendship didn't mean as much to them as you thought. That's when you have to just let it burn.
6. "Growing Apart Too" by Jhene Aiko and Kendrick Lamar
Continuing with the theme of losing friends, you may not have the same friends that you made at the beginning of your first semester of college. After settling in, you'll realize that the people who just so conveniently happened to be around you probably aren't the ones who become your best friends. As college goes on, you meet people who have similar schedules and similar interests. It's only the middle of my second semester and I have different friends than the ones I attended my first parties with.
7. "You & The 6" by Drake
My dear mother and father. The ones who can no longer harass me about dirty dishes. As I’ve been away from home, there have been less bumps in my relationships with my parents because of the simple fact that I don’t live with them anymore. I’m able to see them as real people who went through the same things that I’m going through at this stage in my life. I understand the lessons they had been trying to teach me and their deliberate intentions in raising me the way they did. And most importantly, they can’t make me clean my room.
8. "Trap Queen" by Fetty Wap
Just kidding. Don't do drugs, kids.
Lead image credit: Vevo