I remember the first time I stepped on campus during my visit last December. It was as if I was missing a piece to a puzzle and Syracuse University would fit in perfectly. The campus was beautiful, the school was so united with spirit and it was only four hours away from home. I had a countdown on my phone which indicated how many more days until move in - and I could not have been more excited. Everyone told me that college life would without a doubt be the perfect fit for me. I was ready to start a new chapter, and where else is better to do so than at your dream school, right? Wrong.
At the very beginning, like any major transition, adjusting was hard. Four hours away was far, I could not go home whenever I wanted, which ended up being all the time. I thought I would get to school and never want to leave, that I would go out all the time while balancing studying and going to classes. I genuinely believe that college would be my thing. Sure I have gone to parties, but honestly when I got to one I could not wait to leave. The whole time all I could think about was: going back to the dorm and having some Velveeta microwave shells macaroni and cheese, while watching Netflix wrapped up in my heating blanket. I missed having bonfires with all of my closest friends who knew everything about one another. Eventually, weekends became dedicated to laying in bed miserable. This was not what I wanted. I wanted to be living it up, loving college, but I just couldn't find get myself to do it. All my friends from home seemed to be loving college, so I had to put in some effort to go out so I could post pictures on social media to keep up with appearances. I was supposed to love college, and I did not want my friends knowing I hated being here.
As far as academics go, Syracuse University is one of the top schools in the country, and on top of that there are multiple notable alumni. So many opportunities had already presented themselves halfway through the fall semester of freshman year alone. Every program here offers different opportunities which target the abilities you have or want to improve on. I knew that Syracuse University was the best for me educationally. I took hold of different experiences that were offered to me. I knew I had to try. Unfortunately, the more I tried, the less I enjoyed it. I was losing the motivation I needed to be here, and I had found myself beginning to give up. Sure, I would still push through and put forth the effort to do well in all of my classes, but I was not loving all of the knowledge I was getting. College was supposed to be the time where every class was an amazing eye opening experience, and I was supposed to love going to class. College was supposed to be unlike high school. I was not supposed to dread waking up and going from class to class. I thought that I would love all of my classes and look forward to going out every weekend, but now I look forward to just going home.
I thought Syracuse University would be the college of my dreams, I was wrong.
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